This was a collection of updates posted by family members on Carl's battle.
Yesterday Dad was checked into the hospital for rehydration after a doctor's appointment. This afternoon he was checked out of the hospital after having fluids and a new steroid administered. Mom says he's "500% better than before going in." He is able to walk around a few steps and is able to mentally track better.
He had radiation done last week on his right shoulder after having discovered a tumor in that area during a doctor appointment about two weeks ago. It is believed that this is the reason that Dad's rotator cuff surgery recovery was so slow.
Last weekend we (Eric, Danie, Tom and Melissa) went up and visited Mom and Dad. Carl seems a bit more disoriented since our last visit the week before. He's having a harder time getting around, so Mom got a lift chair and wheelchair for him through Hospice. Aides from Hospice are coming 2-3 days a week now to help her out by bathing and shaving Carl. It's helping a lot! She can't leave him alone at all now so it's helpful having them. Carl isn't talking as much now either, but he still has a sense of humor. When Mom was shaving him last weekend, he let her know she was fired because of the way she was doing it.
We've also learned this week that there is something better than medication to help him relax... Music! Mom turned on some Big Band/WW II Era music/video for him and it relaxed him almost immediately. We're looking on amazon.com for videos and cds. Mom specifically asked for no Lawrence Welk... I don't know why. ;-)
Wayne has recently moved up to the "compound" from New Mexico. After staying with Mom and Dad for a while, he has since moved into a house belonging to family friends. We enjoy visiting him now because he has an indoor pool! Luckily, he has Tom to help out with the cleaning and maintenance.
Next weekend, our good friends Erica and Gaven are getting married and Janet (Minton), Carl's daughter, is going to stay with him overnight so Gayle can go! It is the "wedding of the century" so I'm happy she gets to join us!
That's all for now! We'll write more later.
Hello Everyone!
I'm still not comfortable with this infernal machine but Eric keeps after me to try! I really appreciate his and Danielle's efforts to keep up the web page for me. I appreciate ALL the notes, prayers and cyber hugs Carl and I receive!
This is by far the most difficult time for us. Carl's brain tumors have created problems. He cannot communicate except for a few words or needs at random moments. He does get agitated at times and gets frustrated that I cannot understand what he is trying to say. He is sleeping more and more, and eating less and less. At times he can walk independently and at times he can't figure out how to move his feet. Things change from nap to nap. Overall I'd say he's just CRANKY. But you all know Carl... The only pain he has is in the right shoulder, where a large tumor has grown. The pain is controllable with pain pills so far, but he has very little use of the right arm.
The boys are challenged to try to finish up for Carl. There's a 14'x20' building in front of the house Wayne is trying to get a concrete slab poured and have it moved onto. I have some bids out for the sprinkler system and lawns. Most of the decks for the two main doors need to be built. Thomas got a lesson in deck building from Carl this summer at our rental house. He's proving to have a lot of Carl's abilities to build. We have a circular driveway to put in and fill dirt to move from the pasture. Eric has found he can run a tractor with a front end loader and blade as well as sit at a computer! Daughter Janet has been a big help with Carl. Last visit he cooperated a lot better with her after I was "fired".
Thank you everyone for the messages! Love Carl and Gayle
We are sorry about the delays in getting an update. I hope you’ve read Eric’s note so you know what that was all about. Anyway, last Saturday. (October 7) Tom, Janet, Lyle (Janet’s boyfriend), Eric and I went up to the "compound" for a visit. In the last few weeks Carl has become progressively worse (as expected) and we haven’t really been able to talk with him much. For the most part, he can understand but is unable to carry on a conversation. Some days are better than others.
We had a pleasant surprise on that Saturday though. The guys were outside working on the front of the house, preparing it for the landscapers to begin the new lawn. Janet and I stayed inside most of the day and watched over Carl so Gayle could work outside. He slept all day, but when he woke up we were amazed and somewhat shocked at what he had to say. As I mentioned before, you can’t really carry on a conversation with him most of the time. He usually just rambles. You just have to nod and go with it. That day was different. He sat up after sleeping the day away. Janet sat down next to him on the bed. He looked at her and said, "I know you’re having a hard time with this. I know you’re having a hard time understanding this." She looked at me shocked. Where did this incredible insight come from?
A short while later in the evening Janet was lying on the bed talking with him. He understood everything and was responding once in a while. At one point he merely uttered, "I was strong." A simple but honest statement that moved us to tears. Almost immediately after this, he had me in hysterics because Gayle had walked into the room. He said, "There’s the witch…hey witch." Janet was appalled and said, "DAD! She’s been so good to you, you be nice!" The tone in his voice and the way he said was jokingly…like when he fires her four or five times a day. I think it was a piece of the old Carl shining through.
After Janet spoke with him, Tom came in and chatted for a bit. Again, he understood everything and was responsive. He was even responding to the names Tom was mentioning of those who have wished him well. Then it was Eric’s turn. Eric laid down on the bed next to me and told Carl of his new job and our new apartment. Another thing he brought up was the fact we were comparing Eric with Grandpa A…about how they’re both "Sweden": always neutral, mellow, and they both love to putter in the garden. I then asked Carl if he thought I was like Grandma A (because many often say I am). His response: "I don’t know yet."
We all felt that day helped us in some way. We all had one more day with Carl…as we knew him before the cancer. The next day, Sunday, was completely opposite. He was having a hard time talking again and slept most of the day. It must be so frustrating for Gayle to see him change every day, not knowing what kind of mood he’ll be in, or how responsive he will be. She deserves a big pat on the back for all she’s doing. We love you, Gayle. :-)
Not much has changed this week. His blood pressure did drop significantly on Wednesday and there was the chance he might slip into a coma.
But soon after that he ate some scrambled eggs, which is completely out of the norm for his diet which consists of one or two cans of Ensure a day. Since then, there has been no change. He was agitated on Friday, and it was a bit stressful on Gayle.
That’s all for now! We’ll be going up there this weekend and we’ll try to update more for you. :-)
Thank you everyone for all the support you've given Carl and I. This week has been a rapid decline for Carl. He went into a hospital bed a week ago, which is set up in one of the spare bedrooms. He hasn't been out of bed since last Wednesday. He hasn't taken nutrition for some time now and takes very little water. He is minimally responsive. He fought hard, but now he's tired.
It's been wonderful to realize how many people have been a part of Carl's life. Thank you again.
Love,
Gayle and family
Well, my friends the battle has come to an end. At 12:01 AM on Wednesday, November 8, 2000, with family surrounding him, Carl left the Earth peacefully to start a new day and a new life in a better place. All of the Pykonens and extended family would like to thank each and every one of you for your love and support during this siege. It was a long and hard battle for each of us. You should all know that you had a very positive effect on Carl's life as he did on yours.
Please drop me a note if you would like Mom's postal address or phone number. You can also sign Dad's online guestbook. Mom has drawn such great support from the words you have left. If you like you can drop Mom a note via email. Very soon we will post information about a memorial service.